Family Spotlight: The Schuler Family
05/22/2013
Shireen R. Dadkhah
We're so proud of and thankful for each and every one of our families, we're giving them the chance to show off a bit. Each month we'll be shining the spotlight on one family by letting them introduce themselves and tell us a little about why and how they got involved with adoption.
This month we're letting the Schuler Family tell their story.
 Introduce your family:
We are Andre, Amy, Ava, and Tyson Schuler from Indiana.
What led you to adoption and international adoption?
Adoption has always been a part of our lives through both immediate and extended family members, and we became interested in international adoption – specifically Africa – through our time spent volunteering and working oversees. It was on both of our hearts to expand our family through adoption.
What country did you choose to adopt from and why did you choose that country?
A few years back we spent ten weeks working in East Africa at a hospital and orphanage. We were so moved by the experience that we stopped passively contemplating adoption and began actively seeking out information and opportunities. After learning of the overwhelming social and political situation that so many children in Congo find themselves faced with, we just knew that it was the right place and the right time and the right way for our family to grow. It just felt right.
Why did you choose to work with MLJ through your international adoption process?
As our church was starting their adoption ministry there was an opportunity to attend an adoption seminar led by a member of the MLJ staff. We attended and appreciated their passion for children and personal approach. After meeting with the program director we felt confident that MLJ was the right fit for us and the right agency to move forward with.
How long did the adoption take you?
Our entire process took approximately twelve months. We received our referral for our daughter five months after signing our initial contract and our daughter was home seven months later!
How has international adoption been different than you expected?
We didn’t really know what to expect when we started the international adoption process, but through it all we grew closer as a couple, and eventually as a family. It added a whole new meaning of love to our lives!
How has international adoption impacted your family?
International adoption has given us the opportunity to share our story with family, friends, co-workers, and complete strangers while checking out at Target. It’s a story about love, God, hope, patience, struggle, togetherness, and family. It’s about how our family is just like everybody else’s and at the same time like nobody else’s.
What was adjustment like for your family?
Overall our adjustment was wonderful! In a broad sense our adjustment was similar to that of any first-time parents, with the focus on sleep schedules, feedings, soothing, etc. It was also different in that when Ava came home she was seven months old. She had likes, dislikes, and definitely her own personality! So it took some time to get to know her as a little person. Later, it became an adjustment because of the outward appearance of our family, and the added attention we were getting when in public.
What do you wish you could tell other families that are adopting or considering international adoption?
If it is in your heart to adopt please take that first step, you will never look back. Yes, it will be difficult. Yes, there will be lots of paperwork. Yes, it will take a lot of time. Yes, at times you will feel overwhelmed. But then it happens and your family is finally together, and all those things that once seemed to matter so much are quickly forgotten. It is definitely a rollercoaster ride filled with many ups and downs. But unlike any other rollercoaster ride, trust us when we say it ends with a very big “up.”
Is there a special story about your adoption that you would like to share?
We sent a special care package to our daughter while she was still in Congo with a few shirts, pictures, and toys. A few months later we received a picture of our daughter and in it she was wearing one of the shirts we sent! Not one with bright colors or flowers or animals. Instead it was the one we picked out with an ironic twist. A simple shirt with one word: “Homegrown.”
Photo used with permission.
For more information about MLJ Adoptions' international adoption programs, please click here. If you would like to be featured in our Family Spotlight please email Shireen@mljadoptions.com.
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Join Us For A Samoan Luau!
05/21/2013
Shireen R. Dadkhah
 We are excited to announce that on Sunday, June 23rd we will be hosting a Samoan Luau! This is a fun and easy opportunity for families to connect with other families who are have adopted or will be adopting from Samoa, to stay active in the adoption network, and to learn more about the Samoan culture. We invite you to bring the whole family and help us celebrate Samoa!
When: Sunday, June 23rd
Where: MLJ Adoptions
617 E. North Street
Indianapolis, IN 46204
Time: 2:00 -5:00
Food: MLJ will provide drinks and snacks. Please feel free to bring a snack to share. Families are also volunteering to attempt traditional, native dishes for taste testing. Margie Snyder is organizing these dishes and putting together recipe cards to take home. Please email Brooke@mljadoptions.com to connect you with Margie if you would like to volunteer to prepare a Samoan dish to share.
Activities:
- Photographer and photo station to provide digital family photo keepsakes for all attendees.
- Fire dancer Molly Wyldfyre
- Hand drawn temporary Tatau and other designs.
- Rugby drills with Indiana Ruby.
- Siapo bark and Lei crafts. We are in need of brown paper grocery bags for these crafts. Please contact Brooke@mljadoptions.com to donate or to volunteer to prep crafts.
And much, much more!
 On Friday and Saturday we will offer classes and seminars to help answer prospective clients questions, fulfill education courses, and to learn more about Samoan culture. Please RSVP to each specific class or seminar you plan to attend.
Friday
Home Study 101 - 12:00 - 1:00
Traveling to Samoa - 1:15 - 2:45
Affording Adoption - 1:15 - 2:45
Initial Adoption Info - 3:00 - 5:00
First Generation film screening - 6:30 - 8:30
Saturday
Child Development and Adoption - 9:00 - 11:00
Creating A Lifebook - 11:30 - 1:30
Sensory Play Techniques with Candice Thompson - 2:00 - 4:00
The Luau will go from 2:00 - 5:00 on Sunday, June 23rd. Please, click here to RSVP. We hope you'll join us in celebrating the homecoming of these children and the Samoan culture!
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Support During Travel
05/20/2013
Angela Simpson, BSW
 For all of the different programs that MLJ Adoptions offer all adoptive parents must travel to the country to meet their child. The duration of the stay may be different depending on the country and the added length of the stay may also add stress to the adoptive family. Traveling to another country to meet and/or bring home your child that you are adopting is a defining moment in a family’s life. This is a special time and a highly anticipated event. This event takes place in a foreign land with unfamiliar surroundings and can be both joyous and stressful. That moment that parents hope their child will look at them and love them is often one filled with fear and anxiety. Children who are adopted internationally are taken from everything that they have ever known or loved and that can be a scary time for a child.
It seems like travel is one of the times in the adoption process where families need support the most. It is important to have someone you are comfortable with who will be a strong positive support for you while you are gone and once you return home. This person may be a spouse, a parent, sibling or a close friend. Consider bringing someone with you if possible so you don’t have to travel alone. Whoever you chose to be your support will need to be a cheerleader for you, support you when your child is not attaching like you’d hoped, help you remember things when you can’t and reassure you of the real reasons why you are adopting and help you to continue to be patient and understanding. One of my roles at MLJ is to provide support for families while they are in country and once they are home and you can email me at angela@mljadoptions.com.
One of the hardest parts about traveling is the unknowns and delays. Often parents are given a timeframe that paperwork will be completed within a certain period of time. It is easy for parents to focus on that time and hope for it to be completed sooner rather than later. However, it is important to anticipate delays, be patient and be prepared for the worst because then you might be pleasantly surprised with things turned out better than anticipated. Travel is usually easier if you prepare in advance. Preparation maybe doing things like making a list of things you need, research the area where you’ll be staying, having the child’s room ready, and packing bags before it becomes last minute. It is also important to prepare your children who are already at home. Make sure to pack healthy protein rich snacks because low blood sugar and hunger can increase stress for children and adults.
The most important thing to focus your time and energy on is your child. The time in country is a great time to focus on attachment with your child without the distractions of everyday life that you will encounter once you get home. Spend this time getting to know your child and his or her culture and birth country. This may include some sight-seeing but it’s important to try to stick to a normal schedule. Don’t rely on your memory, take notes or journal, take videos and pictures, you’ll appreciate it later. Bring home mementos to include in a Lifebook for your child.
Be prepared to carry your child around. One of the best ways to form attachment is to carry your child and give them lots of love and attention. Even if you are adopting a six year old he or she will most likely want to be held. You may consider bringing a wrap or carrier with you. A child may not have been carried around as an infant and will want and ask for that physical attention. It is important to attend to your child’s every needs, don’t discipline and hold them and do as much for them as much as possible.
Wherever you end up staying in-country make yourself at home. If you’re staying at a hotel make it comfortable because you will most likely be there for a while, so unpack. You may also want to find a hotel room with a kitchenette so you can cook and provide nutritional nurturing like you would at home. Other parents who are adopting and in country can also be a support as well. However, we encourage parents to not compare the adoption process. Each and every adoption process is unique and don’t be discouraged if you find out that someone’s process is going faster than yours.
Have the right attitude. If you head into the trip stressed with rigid expectations you will not have an enjoyable time. Enjoy the adventure and time with your child, because after all that is why you’re there, and plan to go-with-the-flow.
For more information about MLJ Adoptions' international adoption programs, please click here.
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Photo Of The Week
05/17/2013
Photo used with permission.
If you would like your child to be featured in our Photo Of The Week, please email Shireen@mljadoptions.com.
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Haiti Flag Day Celebrates Nation's Independence
05/17/2013
Sheri Molnar
 For a country’s citizens, a flag is not only a symbol of national pride but also represents the nation’s history and culture. The Haitian flag is no exception. The colors and images of Haiti’s flag represent the proud nation’s story of struggle and accomplishment. Tomorrow, May 18th, is a national holiday in Haiti that commemorates the adoption of a national flag and celebrates the brave story represented by the flag.
Haiti Flag Day recognizes the revolution in which the country gained its independence from France in 1803. It is celebrated with great fanfare on the grounds of the national palace. Schools throughout the country sing patriotic hymns and hold dance competitions in the streets attended by large crowds. It is the custom for the President to give a speech in Archaie, the city where the flag was first stitched together by patriots.
The origin of the Haitian flag is tightly linked to its history of struggle for freedom. The Haitian flag was created on May 18th, 1803 during a congress held in the midst of the country’s war for independence. The white stripe of the French flag was removed thereby removing a symbol of European domination. The red and blue stripes were stitched together to make the flag. The red represents the native Indians and the blue represents the African slaves telling the story of the coming together of two people. The flag came to embody the nation’s spirit of freedom, unity, and individual liberty.
A coat of arms was added to depict the nation’s readiness to defend freedom and a royal palm added to represent the nation’s successful achievement of independence. The palm is topped by the Cap of Liberty. The motto is on a white scroll reading L'Union Fait La Force ("Unity Makes Strength.")
Flag Day took on even more of an important symbol after a 7.0 magnitude earthquake devastated the country in January 2010. An estimated 300,000 people were killed and hundreds of thousands were injured or left homeless. The flag was looked to as a symbol once again of the nation’s battle to overcome adversity.
MLJ Adoptions is proud to be one of nineteen agencies approved to complete international adoptions in Haiti. We will be working together with our partner crèche, Giving Hope, to place children in permanent, loving homes. And like the stitched together stripes of the Haitian flag, we look forward to working in unity with Giving Hope in the best interests of the Haitian children we serve. We send our warmest wishes to the Haitian people on this national holiday.
For more information about MLJ Adoptions' international adoption programs, please click here.
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What Are Orphan Visas?
05/16/2013
Michele L. Jackson, J.D.
 Often the orphan visa is one of the last items to complete your international adoption. However, it can be one of the most important and misunderstood if not done properly. If you are adopting from Nicaragua or adopting from Democratic Republic of Congo you will be requesting an orphan visa. If you are adopting from Mexico or adopting from Bulgaria, you would be requesting a Hague visa for a child adopted in a Convention country (Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Inter-Country Adoption – “Hague Convention on Inter-Country Adoption”). This article will specifically discuss the types of Orphan Visas and not Hague Visas.
Are you adopting from a non-Hague country? If so, you will complete many steps in the international adoption process. One of the main objectives for a successful adoption is the issuance of an orphan visa. While there are many steps to your adoption that all work in cooperation, the first immigration step is filing of the I-600A Application for Advance Processing of the Orphan Petition. Upon the Approval of the I-600A, you will then proceed with your foreign adoption and the 2nd immigration step is filing the I-600 Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative. (there are numerous documents that must accompany both of these filings, please see www.uscis.gov for this information).
In general, the issuance of an Orphan Visa acknowledges your foreign adoption qualifies as a legal adoption per U.S. immigration laws and your child qualified as an orphan per U.S. immigration laws. The orphan visa allows for your child to enter into the U.S and by operation of law provides for immediate or expedited citizenship for your child.
The orphan visa is an immigrant visa which means that its intent is for the child to come into the U.S. and stay here permanently. There are two types of orphan visas; IR-3 and IR-4 Visa.
The IR-3 Visa is issued when both parents traveled to the foreign country and observed the child prior to the adoption completion and the child and parents were granted a full and final Decree of Adoption in the foreign country prior to returning to the U.S. These children are granted automatic citizenship upon entering the U.S. (there are some rare exceptions).
The IR-4 Visa is issued when neither parent or only one parent traveled to the country and observed the child prior to the completion of the adoption. If both parents traveled but it post the Adoption Decree, you will not receive an IR-3 Visa, you will receive an IR-4 Visa. If the Order or Decree from the foreign Court was not an Adoption Decree/Order, you will receive the IR-4 Visa. In some countries, a family receives a Custody or Guardianship Order for the purpose of adoption and the adoption is later finalized in the U.S. In these situations the child will receive an IR-4 Visa.
There are situations in which orphan visas are denied. Adoptive parents and adoption agencies should watch closely the impact of the Universal Accreditation Act and its impact on the issuance of orphan visas. Most accrediting professionals and many adoption professionals believe that orphan visas will be extremely difficult or impossible to obtain if the parents pursued an independent international adoption.
The orphan visa is a critical part of the international adoption process and citizenship process for your child.
For more information about MLJ Adoptions' international adoption programs, please click here.
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Racial Socialization: Feelings to Actions
05/15/2013
Meghan Rivard
 "It is through interactions with others, especially parents, that children and youth gain insight regarding their racial heritage and learn to assume, resist, or negotiate the statuses associated with racial group membership. An important question is how parents of multiracial youth prepare them. . ." (Rollins and Hunter, 2013).
How do you perceive the term "socialization?" For me, it is the process of developing the skills necessary to interact productively in society. For biracial families, "Racial socialization is,” acquiring the behaviors or attitudes of an ethnic group, also becomes a component of socialization. As referenced in the quote, children turn to their parents for guidance with the issues that are associated with their racial heritage. Therefore, it is critical, that as a parent, you are aware of the importance of racial socialization in your child's development. The following are two studies that recently addressed this issue.
"Racial socialization of Biracial Youth: Maternal Messages and Approaches to Address Discrimination," (Rollins and Hunter, 2013) studied racial influences and the different racial socialization practices in biracial families. They classified three types of socialization: self-development socialization, egalitarian socialization and silence socialization. Self-development socialization stresses the importance of the individual and self-identity. Egalitarian socialization promotes equality of everyone in all groups. Silence socialization refers to not providing any type of racial socialization.
The study interviewed biracial families to see what approaches to racial socialization were most prominent and effective. They found there were three prominent approaches of handling racial socialization: protective, promotive, and passive. Protective racial socialization refers to preparing children for discrimination and strengthening their racial identity. Promotive racial socialization refers to strengthening the child's sense of identity and self. Passive racial socialization refers to the parents remaining silent and not discussing the possibility of future discrimination.
While there are different approaches, the study indicated that racial socialization is critical in the development of the child's racial identity to be better prepared for possible discrimination or racism. The study emphasizes that it is important for parents to have an understanding of how their child's experiences, environment, and social position can impact how he/she reacts to any discrimination that might be experienced.
The second study, "Cultural Socialization in Families with adopted Korean Adolescents: A Mixed-method, mixed-informant study," interviewed parents and adopted teenagers from Korea and addressed issues of race and ethnicity. Nine families acknowledged the impact of racial/ethnicity differences, six families said that there was no impact on the family and fifteen families disagreed on the impact. (Kim, 2013). The study also looked at the level of parental engagement with the adolescents concerning cultural socialization. It was interesting to note, that the adolescents viewed it at much lower level than the parents.
Cultural socialization DOES have a big impact in the child's personal development. To ensure that your child has a positive racial identity and positive racial socialization, you as a parent should:
- Acknowledge the existence of racism and discrimination.
- Provide your child with appropriate responses if discrimination should ever occur.
- Prepare the child for discrimination
"When parents provide cultural experiences and talk about race and ethnicity, they help biracial youth sift through society's inconsistent, confusing, and prejudicial messages about race. Open communication fosters racial awareness, reduces inconsistent messages, minimizes ambiguity, increases familial interactions, buffers youth from stereotypes threat effects, and decreases the effects of conflicting messages" (Rollins and Hunter 2013).
For more information about MLJ Adoptions' international adoption programs, please click here.
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