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It seems to be so common when considering adoption as a way of adding to a family that one prospective parent is less sure than his or her partner. (It is not always the prospective father!) There could be many factors that can make one hesitant. It is often the same when considering procreation. We ask if we have the resources to support a child. We ask if we are prepared and capable. We ask how our lives will change beyond adding a person to our household. Such critical consideration is more than appropriate; it is one of the first acts of parenting. 

Parenting is the most difficult, most important job you will ever undertake or be given. As a parent your child depends on you for everything - from food to values to self-esteem. You prepare this child to be an independent, capable, confident, ethical adult. Every choice you make on a daily basis impacts the adult your child will become.

 

Internally, we all know what we do well and what we have to share, but we also know that we make mistakes or have room for growth. Everyone has something in their life that can be improved. You know you will not be a perfect parent. You may even fear that you will be like your own parent. There is no perfect parent or family. You will make mistakes. You will likely even remind yourself of your own parent at one point or another. It is how you handle the situation when you do make mistakes that will make all the difference to your child. Parenthood is a wonderful opportunity for growth if you are willing to make an honest assessment of yourself. If we allow parenthood to make us into better versions of ourselves, then we will truly be able to provide more for our children than we had ourselves.

 

How loving to consider if you are prepared enough to be the parent a child needs! When such questions are asked, it is the first step in providing for the needs of a child. It is also putting the child's needs above your own, which is crucial to successful parenting. Although your spouse may be frustrated with your hesitancy, I honor your questions. 

 

 

The team at MLJ Adoptions, Inc. is happy to help you consider your questions and find resources as needed. One way we do this on a regular basis is by offering free initial adoption information seminars that provide an introduction to adoption and give you an opportunity to ask all of your questions. If you live outside of Indiana, contact us to schedule a teleconference.