Category - Support Services

13
May

Adoptive Children Require Consistent Techniques

Periodically, we use this space to answer client questions that have been submitted to us. Today, Addison Cooper LCSW answers the question, “How long do you try a technique before determining if it’s successful or not?” He writes reviews for adoption-themed movies which can be found here. Have you ever heard that old saying, “The ...
29
Apr

Rejection to Attachment: Why Early Ambivalence is Positive

If you have observed my son with me in the last year, you know he is pretty fond of me. He wants to snuggle every night at bedtime. I can’t leave school without at least one hug and kiss. If he sees me in the building during the day, that happens again; he can’t just ...
14
Mar

Adoptive Grandparent Shares His Irish Heritage

According to the US Census Bureau, 36.9 million Americans (more than 1 out of every 9) claimed Irish ancestry in the 2009 American Community Survey . But, of course, on St. Patrick’s Day everybody claims to be Irish. For years I have been a lover of all things Irish and Scottish, and have traced much ...
12
Feb

Nurture Group: What is it and How Does it Work?

Are you looking for a new way to bond with your child? A way to help your family to learn to knit together when things aren’t going as well as you had planned? One possibility is to utilize the “Nurture Group” developed for TBRI®. What is a nurture group? It is a way to have ...
28
Jan

IDEAL Response: Correcting Difficult Behaviors the TBRI® Way

As Dr. Purvis would say, internationally adopted children come from hard places. These children are not in need of families because of happy circumstance or an ideal upbringing. Even when adopted at a young age, these children have experienced trauma that impacts their development for life. Dr. Purvis categorizes the type of trauma experienced by ...
27
Jan

The Dangers of Taking Your Time with a Home Study

I know what you’re thinking when you read the title of this blog. “Me, taking my time, on what? The adoption process is so long. I feel like I’m the one always waiting on others.” But, there are quite a few of us that still seem to drag our feet when we hear the first ...
22
Jan

Consequences of a Lost Referral

A referral or match with a child in international adoption can be lost or withdrawn for a number of reasons. Some reasons for a lost referral could be that a family member decided to parent the child, the child cannot be deemed legally abandoned, or the child is too ill to travel. As families begin ...
21
Jan

Pro-active Parenting

Parenting is not about being the “perfect parent,” there is no such thing, and it’s not about turning your child into the “perfect child,” because again, there is no such thing. Parenting is about being in a relationship with your child and navigating the world with them. Parenting is providing support and nurture. Parenting is ...
14
Jan

TBRI® Overview Of Correcting Principles

We are nearing the end of our TBRI® Tuesday series, following up Connecting Principles and Empowering Principles with Correcting principles. TBRI® purposely puts Correcting at the end of the series because learning is grounded in relationship and parents must know how to return the interaction to a connected relationship. Within the Correcting Principles, there are ...
9
Jan

Q & A What to Pack to Ease a Child’s Adjustment to Adoptive Home

Q: Do you have any suggestions for items to bring from our home that other families have found helpful in easing their child’s transition to home? A: Easing a child’s transition from the place most familiar to him or her to a new home environment can be helpful to both children and parents (who have ...
31
Dec

Parenting & Life Value Terms

Children are not in need of families through international adoption because of happy circumstances. These children need a family because their biological family was unable or unwilling to do so. Poverty, abuse and neglect are likely to have affected your child’s early development. These children may not have had positive social skills modeled for them ...
17
Dec

TBRI® Training And The Empowered To Connect Conference

As many of you have read, several MLJ staff members attended the TBRI® training in Texas earlier this year. I hope that all MLJ families will benefit from the blogs we have written over what we have learned. For me, TBRI® was more than part of my job, it was personal. I am an adoptive ...
10
Dec

What Is Your Child’s Attachment Style?

Attachment is such a big word in adoption. Is your child attached? Does your child have an attachment issue or even an attachment disorder? It seems like such a simple word, but it is really quite complicated. Attachment is the bond that a child has with their parents, or caregivers. Attachment occurs when a child ...
3
Dec

The Power of Choices and How To Share It

Sharing power is an essential principle of TBRI® (Purvis, K., Cross, Dr. R., & Hurst, J.R. [2012]. Trust-Based Relational Intervention: TBRI® Connecting Principles [Instructor Workbook]. Fort Worth, TX: TCU Institute of Child Development.). Children feel valued and safe knowing that their needs and wants are heard and taken into consideration. While parents must be “the ...
26
Nov

TBRI® Overview Of Connecting Principles

During TBRI® Training, Dr. Karen Purvis discussed five principles of connecting with a child from a hard place. The foundation for building a trusting relationship between a parent and child is through connection. TRBI® Training (Purvis, K.B. & Cross, D.R. (2013, September). TBRI® Professional Training Program presented by the TCU Insitute of Child Development. Training ...
12
Nov

Teaching Self-Regulation

Some mornings my youngest son goes through two or three pairs of socks before he finds a pair that does not bug him — he may have a couple sensory issues. This used to be more of an issue when he could not communicate his needs appropriately and socks ended up thrown across the room ...
29
Oct

Working Through Transitions

My son started Kindergarten this year and this was a big transition for our family. To transition to a new schedule we made adjustments over time. We didn’t start the new routine the week school started—that would’ve been chaos. Change takes time. We had to adjust bedtimes, eliminate naps, wake up earlier, and establish a ...
22
Oct

Sensory Processing and the Adopted Child

Imagine that you’re about to bite into a big red crunchy apple. You are holding the fruit in your hand and bring it to your mouth. You open your mouth wide and bite down hard, but when you bite down you realize that you were actually taking a bite of a soft warm roll. This ...
18
Oct

Q & A Nanny vs Day Care for Adopted Children

Client question: When we get to the point of moving towards daycare, given the trust vs. mistrust issues that can arise, what would be the best form of daycare? Would nannies (or even family members who might help) threaten the idea of us as the primary parents and caregivers? While an individual caregiver, whether family ...
18
Oct

Supporting Identity Development in Adopted Teens

Client question: What are the best ways to support internationally adopted adolescents attempting to establish their identity? Helping children establish a healthy personal identity starts well before adolescence. Even young children need to understand where they fit into their family and where they fit into the world in general. As we know, this question is ...
15
Oct

Felt Safety

Of course my child is safe. He is with me. We live in a decent neighborhood. We lock the doors. The cabinets are full of food. But that doesn’t mean that he FEELS safe. Without felt safety, children cannot learn to trust their environment and their new parents; without felt safety, children cannot securely attach. ...
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